I always knew I was going to be a mom and have a big family. When Josh and I got married, we both knew we wanted four kids. It wasn't an issue......until it was. I realized the other day that I have been actively trying to add children to our family for 8 years. 8 YEARS!! I have to admit I'm a bit surprised at how my family has turned out. I always thought I would have a loud and crazy family in a big and messy house with lots of friends and broken things and maybe even a dog or two. Lo and Behold, here I am in a two bedroom condo with an "only child" who is more of a neat freak than even me.
Turns out that isn't the only surprise in motherhood that I didn't expect. Let's take, for example, these "things." Maddie came home from school a few days ago, nearly in tears as she pulled her hand out of her pocket with them in her hand. "Mommy! We need to get them in water and feed them NOW or they are going to die! They have to be in a see through jar so we can watch them grow!" I dropped everything and ran to the kitchen and miraculously found a see through jar.
"What are these things?"
"I don't know."
"Where did you get them?"
"I don't remember."
"Uhhh....okay....well what do they eat?"
"I don't know, but look! They are growing."
If anyone knows what the heck is "growing" in my kitchen, feel free to educate me.
I always knew that my mom would be an all star grandmother. She has a way with children and never-ending patience that all of her kids envy. But another total shocker has been the kind of grandpa my dad is. Now, don't get me wrong, he was a lovely father. But seriously, he is an all star grandpa. I made my sister take a picture of this moment when we were in Virginia, when he was massaging my 3 year old nieces feet for her because "she needed a break." Now he WAS a lovely father, but I can guarantee you I never got a foot massage when I was three. More like a few spankings. He ADORES his grandchildren, and they all know it. He serves them and babysits them and spoils them and hugs them and sits on the floor and plays Barbies with them. I am lucky that my kids have such amazing grandparents. (And I'm lucky to have grown up with them as my parents.)
And although I fully expected to have lots of fun days on the beach with my family, I never knew that they would be so magical.
This video is from one of the best days of my life. :o)
And although my hands are shaking and my throat is tight as I type this, I am also thankful that I chose gratitude instead of grief after I lost my baby. It's not an easy choice, but it's the only choice. My boys taught me that life is too short to not make every day be the best day of my life. So for his one year birthday, our little family will choose to be happy and thankful for the time we had with Charlie, rather than sad and grieving for the time we didn't have with Charlie. And to help make that happen, we will be celebrating Charlie's first birthday on a Disney cruise, because it really does help to be at the Happiest Place on Earth. Happy Birthday my little Charlie Pants. You are loved and missed this holiday season.
