If you build it, he will come.

Okay, okay. The nursery is all ready. Josh insisted that this nursery be a "man room." Which means no frills, no curtains, keep it simple and clean. He also insisted on a sports theme. I did hang the frames with ribbon, but I'm hoping he won't notice. I would like to point out that the wall color is actually VERY blue, but somehow it appears purple in the pictures. I would also like to point out that Josh took FOREVER to decide what stadiums to include in the four hanging frames. Therefore, I made an executive decision. Because he is a man, he probably won't even notice that there are frames on the wall anyway.

I have never been so prepared before. All the clothes and blankets have been washed and sorted according to size. The closet and drawers have been perfectly organized. The pacifiers and breast pump have been sanitized. I even remembered to buy breast pads, Tucks, overnight pads, and a squirt bottle! Josh won't have to do the "oh crap I forgot" middle of the night embarrassing run to the pharmacy this time!

Josh and I are still trying to convince ourselves that it is real. Just to show an example of how jaded we are, Maddie said last night, "If this baby dies can I have that couch in my room?" Um.....sure Maddie.

And yes, we are still arguing over the baby's name.

Miss Madeline London OR Maddie Stinker Pants OR The Madster.com

Miss Madeline London always comes into my office and takes over. She says she is a lawyer "or something like that" and wants some clients "whatever that means." She has organized my paperclips, lined up my staples, shredded all my trash, and done all my filing, so I'm running out of ideas. I'm not as good at coming up with busy work as my mom used to be when I went to HER office and wanted to be a helper twenty years ago.

Maddie-Stinker-Pants still likes being a kid though. She built a massive blanket fort with her Dad in my living room. Angus, being a terror, kept trying to storm the castle. Maddie finally got "smart" about it and made a sign saying, "No Dogs Aloud." For some reason, Angus didn't obey the sign and continued to harass her. He has been a great trainer to Maddie on what to expect with a pesky little brother.

The Madster.com also got to go see "Wicked" with her Aunt Kristina. (Although they look like they could be sisters!) This is her second theater show at The Smith Center in Las Vegas. I still have not seen one. And every time she goes to a show there, she sees a whole bunch of her friends and has a whole social life. Is Maddie an adult in the office? A kid in a blanket fort? Or a teenager with a social life? I'm not sure, but I like having her around either way.  :o)

Still chugging along....

Yeah, I still have a brain. Barely. Everyone who has been pregnant knows that the old mother's tale about "pregnancy brain" isn't just an old mother's tale. It's for real. My intelligence and ambition go down more than a few notches. Add on top of that the whole bedrest curse, and the fact that I'm still chugging along in law school is just incredibly impressive to myself.  :o)

I am incredibly annoyed with how long my law school is dragging on. Part time online law school is incredibly flexible for my mommy duties and traveling gene. But gosh dang, IT TAKES FOREVER. I will be the first to admit that I spent a lot of time on websites like ihatelawschool.com this year. Josh had to convince (more like beg/threaten) me to keep going. Let me tell you, when you are trying not to throw up and feel like every bit of energy has been sucked out of you, you could freaking care less about the Federal Rules of Evidence.

But somehow I kept going, and I am almost completely done with this year (well ahead of schedule so that I can ignore it completely when the baby comes). Then I will only have ONE MORE YEAR left!!! And my final year will be the lightest load. I am so happy to see the light at the end of the tunnel people!

Here's Hoping.....

Well.....I'm a month away. Yup, I actually made it this far.

A year ago, you couldn't have convinced me that this was going to happen. And to tell you the truth, I'm still not 100% convinced. Josh and I made a decision a few years ago to be as normal as possible. We thought we were doing quite well for a couple who has been through what we have been through, but moments like this make us realize that maybe we are still a little bit weird. Or maybe not. Maybe our reality is just so different from everyone else's?

All I know is that there is still a part of me that worries that I will have to pack up a perfectly new, unused nursery yet again. And a part of me is relieved that there is still an empty spot next to Evan and Charlie's resting spot "just in case" we need it. And a part of me is figuring out where we would move and what my career goals will be if suddenly we don't have to make a space for a little guy in our life. This probably seems completely crazy to everyone else. But to me, I have done these things numerous times. It's not that crazy when it's been my reality for years and years.

I know, I know. I'm almost there. I need to chill out. Positive thoughts. Believe me, I get it. 99% of me is very logical and hopeful, but that 1% is still incredibly uncertain and cynical. You would think that I would shut off my emotions and not get too attached, just to protect my sad little momma heart. But the truth is that I'm not like that. I am already in love with this little guy who beats and kicks me all day and all night. I fantasize about dressing him up in all these onsies that I bought (despite my uncertainties) and changing his diapers. And giving him baths and feeding him in the middle of the night. I look forward to having a little one in the house again and bringing joy and craziness to my family. I am very hopeful that I get to have that experience. I really, really want to keep this one.

Here's hoping......

The Little People

Maddie is studying up again on how babies are made and why it takes so long for them to grow in the mommy's tummy. She sure has been patient. Being on bedrest sucks so bad. Not just for me, but for the entire family. Having a mom that is useless isn't very fun. I'm glad she is at least old enough to understand why and hopefully she won't hold it against me.

Because I'm stuck on my couch, I had to miss my family reunion. But Maddie still got to go and apparently had an absolute blast. Josh was VERY proud to hear that she was the only girl who played wiffle ball with the boys. 

For someone who is pretty grossed out by animals, I sure am a sucker for my pets. Our turtle, "Fluffy" is a nice little soul. He just wanders around the back yard and eats all my flowers. I occasionally find his large turds (usually in the mouth of Angus....a whole other story), but otherwise he is the easiest pet to take care of. We love looking out the window and seeing him saunter by. He is actually quite social for a turtle. If he hears us outside, he walks straight up to us and just hangs out. Josh and Maddie fight over who gets to feed him because it's so funny to watch him devour a pear. 

Angus is such a joy in my life. Despite the months of cleaning his accidents in the house, I adore this stinky little fuzzball. Who knew? He suddenly turned a corner and doesn't go to the potty in the house anymore or attack Maddie. He is suddenly "well behaved." I put it in quotes because he is still a little terror. He is very much like a pesky little brother who purposely annoys people. Particularly Maddie and Fluffy. I find it absolutely hilarious. And I love how he comes and sits right next to me all day until Maddie gets home. He is my loyal companion and I am grateful.

Swiss Family Harrisses

Maddie got to go to Midway with her cousins and grandparents for the big annual Swiss Days. Of course, she wore her dirndl that we bought in Switzerland a few years ago. Josh and I both have Swiss ancestry, so Maddie is very proud of her Swiss blood.

Gosh, she is a cute little Swiss artist.